Dr. Mardy's Quotes of the Week ("Children")

March 3—9, 2024 | THIS WEEK: “The Single Best Thing Ever Said About Children”

Opening Line of the Week

So begins the story of Nurse Matilda, a hideously ugly witch who mysteriously arrives at the household of the Brown family, which is beset by some of the naughtiest children in England. The novel was very popular in Great Britain, and resulted in two sequels: Nurse Matilda Goes to Town (1967) and Nurse Matilda Goes to Hospital (1974). The opening paragraphs of the two sequels are worded slightly differently from the original novel, but they both end the same way: “...and all the children were terribly, terribly naughty.”

In 2005, the novels were loosely adapted into the film Nanny McPhee, starring Colin Firth and Emma Thompson (who also wrote the screenplay). In addition to a new name for the title character, there were some other changes as well, but the essential story remained the same—a nanny with magical powers arrives at an out-of-control home and transforms the life of a family that’s been disrupted by some very naughty children. One important passage from the novel also made it into the film, and I was delighted to see it retained. Let me explain.

I’m a longtime fan of the literary device known as chiasmus (pronounced ky-AZ-muss), and in 1999, I introduced it to popular culture in my book Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You. Brand’s 1964 novel contained a wonderful example. Describing her approach to caring for children, Nurse Matilda says:

“When my children don’t want me, but do need me: then I must stay. When they no longer need me, but they do want me: then I have to go.”

When I first heard about the upcoming film, I eagerly awaited its appearance, wondering if this very special observation would be included. Happily, with a slight change in wording, it was. Early in the movie, when Nanny McPhee first meets the seven children, she says to them:

“When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay. If you want me, but no longer need me, then I have to go.”

A hearty thanks to the literate Emma Thompson for including this chiastic sentiment in her screenplay.

For nearly 2,000 memorable opening lines from every genre of world literature, go to www.GreatOpeningLines.com.

This Week’s Puzzler

On March 8, 1931, this man was born in New York City. After graduating from the State University of New York (Fredonia) in 1955, he attended Teachers College, Columbia University (my alma mater), where he received his doctorate in 1958. He spent one year teaching at San Francisco State University before accepting a professorship at New York University in 1959. He spent his entire career at NYU, retiring at age 71 in 2002 (one year before his death from lung cancer). 

In a full and productive career, he wrote 20 books and well over 200 professional articles—all in longhand! While he applauded certain technological advances (as, for example, in transportation or medicine), he had a lifelong suspicion of technology, eschewing television, computers, word processors, the internet, and mobile phones. He also shunned typewriters, including manual ones. 

He burst on the cultural scene in 1969 with Teaching as a Subversive Activity, a scorching critique of American education (co-authored with Charles Weingartner). In the book, the authors challenged the over-emphasis on rote memory and accumulation of factual knowledge. As an alternative to lectures, textbooks, and testing, they advanced the revolutionary idea that students should be taught to think by teachers who did little talking and a lot of question-asking—especially questions that required students to engage in higher-order thinking. 

In 1982, this week’s Mystery Man came out with The Disappearance of Childhood, a clarion call about the dangers of a rapidly eroding division between childhood and adulthood. When I first sat down to read the book many years ago, I was so impressed by the beauty of the first sentence that I set the book down for a few moments to savor the opening words before continuing. From that moment on, I began to think about childhood in a new way.

Who is this person?

What is Your Favorite Quotation About Children?

Over the years, I’ve collected hundreds of wonderful quotations about children, but I’ve never found one better than the observation in this week’s Puzzler. In fact, I regard it as The Single Best Thing Ever Said on the subject of children.

Is it possible to identify the single best thing ever said on any given topic?  The notion may seem audacious at first, but it’s not as far-fetched as you might think.  The idea first occurred to me several decades ago when I was traveling around the country speaking to CEOs on the topic of leaders and leadership.

In those seminars, I sprinkled my talks with quotations—and one of the most popular was the Napoleon observation above.  When I offered it as “one of the best things ever said on the subject of leadership,” most people nodded in agreement, and many even proceeded to jot it down.  CEOs, I’ve learned, are like most other groups of people—they love to have powerful ideas illuminated by memorable quotations.

In those seminars, after sharing William Wordsworth’s legendary observation that “The child is father of the man,” I often asked people to pause and reflect on how events in their childhood influenced the way they were functioning as adults.  In approaching the subject of early influences, I stated my belief that almost all families have been affected by the problem of alcoholism.  And then, I offered what I described as one of the best things ever said on the subject:

Almost every time I shared the quotation, someone would say, “Pardon me, could you repeat that; I’d like to write it down.”   When the inquiring person jotted down the repeated quotation, I often noticed other people doing the same thing. And, every now and again, someone would raise their hand to speak—and then go on to share a personal story that moistened the eyes of nearly everyone in the room.

The two quotations above were so popular that I made sure I included them in all of my presentations (from 1983-2003, over 700 seminars). After including them in one I did in the 1990s, a voice from the back of the room blurted out, “So, what is the best thing ever said on the subject of committees?”  

I’d never formally applied the best thing designation to “committee” quotations, so I was momentarily taken aback by the question. After hemming and hawing for a few moments, I conceded that one didn’t come to mind. Almost immediately, though, I found myself saying, “Hold it! Now that I think about it, there might be one.” And then, in one of my most memorable “on stage recoveries,” I recalled a quotation I’d only recently discovered in my research.

After I dredged up the quotation from who-knows-where, the room erupted in spontaneous applause. And the guy who originally asked the question said with a big smile on his face, “Perhaps you should consider writing a book on The Single Best Thing Ever Said on Just About Any Topic You Can Think Of.” And that, my friends, was how the whole idea was born.

The book never got written, sadly, but I currently have a computer file containing more than 300 entries. Speaking frankly, a book on the subject will likely never be published. But I still haven’t ruled out the idea of one day launching yet another website—this one devoted to this new subject. In fact, I already own the rights to two relevant domain names: www.TheSingleBestThingEverSaid.com and www.TSBTES.com.

When a quotation is introduced as the single best thing ever said on a subject, the looks on people’s faces are fascinating .  In most cases, there is clearly a heightened level of interest, and even of curiosity. But some people appear skeptical (and sometimes, very skeptical). In a nod to the skeptics, I usually add, “If you ever come across a better observation on the subject, let me know.”  

To return to this week’s theme—children—let me remind you that my choice for the best thing ever said on the subject is:

• Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.

Now the ball is in your court. If you agree, let me know. If you don’t, please share your favorite quotation about children. If you do have a personal favorite, I have a suspicion it might be found in this week’s compilation of quotations:

• Children sweeten labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter. — Francis Bacon

• Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. — James Baldwin

• A wise woman once said to me that there are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these she said is roots, the other, wings. — W. Hodding Carter II

• How paramount the future is to the present when one is surrounded by children. — Charles Darwin

• Let your children go if you want to keep them. — Malcolm Forbes

• Your children are not your children/They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself./They come through you but not from you,/And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. — Kahlil Gibran

• Children...are like wet cement. Any word that falls on them makes an impact. — Haim Ginott

• If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

• Children aren’t coloring books. You don’t get to fill them with your favorite colors. — Khaled Hosseini

• If from infancy you treat children as gods they are liable in adulthood to act as devils. — P. D. James

• Children have more need of models than of critics. — Joseph Joubert

• Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. — Martin Mull

• If you bungle raising your children I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much. — Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

• Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. — Gloria Steinem

• Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. — Oscar Wilde

For source information on these quotations, and many others on the topic of CHILDREN, go here.

Cartoon of the Week:

Answer to This Week’s Puzzler:

Neil Postman (1931-2003)

Dr. Mardy’s Observation of the Week:

Thanks for joining me again this week. See you next Sunday morning, when the theme will be “Eloquence.”

Mardy Grothe

Websites: www.drmardy.com and www.GreatOpeningLines.com

Regarding My Lifelong Love of Quotations: A Personal Note