Dr. Mardy's Quotes of the Week ("Giving Love Away")
December 24—30, 2023 | THIS WEEK'S THEME: “Giving Love Away”
Merry Christmas to My Christian Friends!
On December 25th, the birth of Jesus Christ will once again be celebrated around the world. The gospels mention no actual birthdate—or even season of the year—so the precise timing of Jesus’s birth remains a mystery. Most historians believe December 25th was chosen because early Christian leaders wanted to replace pagan winter solstice celebrations with a celebratory Christian holiday.
For many biblical scholars, the presence of shepherds and sheep at the manger scene also suggested a birth much earlier than December. In that region of the world two-thousand years ago, shepherds usually kept their flocks in the fields from late spring to early autumn, when the weather was milder and far more suitable for grazing.
While devout Christians worship Jesus as a deity, non-Christians generally regard him as a great spiritual teacher, like Confucius or the Buddha. And irrespective of his divinity, Jesus is clearly one of history’s most influential figures. This week, with so much hatred and discord in the world, let’s recall a few things he said on the subject of love (from the Revised Standard Version):
These are powerful words, and for many centuries they have been identified as core principles of Christianity. I’m not sure if you recall it, but in a National Public Radio interview earlier this year, Russell Moore, editor-in-chief of Christianity Today (and the former head of the Southern Baptist Convention) stimulated a spirited national debate when he said that he was troubled by the growing number of conservative Christians who appeared to be significantly less enthusiastic about Jesus’s teachings on the subject of love. For Moore, hearing so many of them describing the sayings seen above as “weak” or no longer relevant was a source of grave concern.
Opening Line of the Week
In the novel, the narrator immediately draws the reader in by posing what has to be one of the most important—and difficult—questions of all time. And just as we begin formulating some thoughts in response, the narrator jumps in with a thought of his own:
“There was a time in my life when I thought I knew the answer.”
Taken together, the two sentences tell a sad, even heartbreaking, story about two people who once loved each other, but are no longer together. And further, from the book’s title, we deduce that, somewhere along the line, the woman ended the love affair in a “Dear John” letter. It’s a powerful opener.
For nearly 2,000 memorable opening lines from every genre of world literature, go to www.GreatOpeningLines.com. And if you’d like to receive a daily dose of famous first words, follow me on Facebook.
This Week’s Puzzler
On December 29, 1926, this German man of letters died at age 51 while residing at a sanatorium in Switzerland (he had been suffering from leukemia for some time). At his death, he was regarded as one of Germany’s greatest poets. His poems—as deeply personal as they were soaringly lyrical—inspired countless post-WWI poets who were looking for a new way to think about their craft after the recent worldwide carnage. About one of his poems, the American poet Louise Bogan wrote:
“A poem like that cannot be written by technique alone. It is carved out of agony, just as a statue is carved out of marble.”
Despite his important and influential role as a poet, this week’s Mystery Man is now principally remembered for Letters to a Young Poet (1923), a collection of letters he wrote to an aspiring young Austrian poet from 1902 to 1906. Almost a century after its publication, this classic in world literature has continued to remain popular—now almost always given as gifts by parents to their artistically inclined children or veteran writers to those aspiring to join their ranks. The letters contain masterfully crafted advice on writing as well as wise reflections on other important subjects. Two examples:
“No one can advise or help you—no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart.”
“For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”
His prose works and letters to other people in his life were also filled with memorable observations. In a 1907 letter to a female friend, for example, he wrote:
Who is this person? (Answer below)
Is It Possible to Possess More by Giving More?
Literally, the more people give away, the less they possess. But this week’s featured quotation is speaking to us not literally, but figuratively—and in doing so, it lays out a great paradoxical truth.
In paradoxical observations—like less is more and the more things change, the more they remain the same—the statements are false at one level and true (often profoundly so) at another level. The Danish physicist Nils Bohr described it well when he wrote:
“The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.”
The quotation in this week’s Puzzler—the more they give, the more they possess—fits into a larger theme that might be phrased: The More We Give, the More We Receive. The original idea goes back to antiquity and, to the best of my knowledge, was first expressed in the Far East more than two and a half millennia ago:
The essential idea has been repeated in countless ways over the centuries, most memorably from one of the greatest works in dramatic history:
“The more I give to thee,
The more I have.”
In this passage, of course, Juliet is speaking to her beloved Romeo, and it perfectly illustrates the theme we’re exploring this week.
But is it really true that we can receive by giving? This next month, you can put the matter to an empirical test in your own life by conducting a small experiment. Begin by simply thinking of a person or two who’s not currently as loving towards you as you would like them to be. It will most likely be a spouse or romantic partner, but it could also be a friend or other family member. Over the next month, make a concentrated—but not overly obvious—attempt to give away more of your love to that person.
There are a gazillion ways to demonstrate love, so it shouldn’t be too difficult if you put your mind to it. In general, though, being more loving means that you will find many specific ways to behave in a kinder, more generous, and thoughtful fashion (and, of course, it will also mean reducing the frequency of critical, judgmental, cranky, impatient, short-tempered, sarcastic, egocentric, and other “unloving” behaviors). And, while we’re on the subject of being more loving, don’t forget to employ the most powerful weapon at your disposal: listening. As the great American theologian Paul Tillich reminded us a number of years ago:
“The first duty of love is to listen.”
If, after a short time, you’re confronted with a comment like “Why are you being so nice?” then you’re probably over-doing it. Just reply, “I don’t know, I guess I just appreciate having you in my life” and scale it back just a bit. But continue to press forward. And if you do as I suggest, I predict—no, that’s not strong enough—I believe that it is almost certain that a month from now you will be receiving far more love from that person than you are today.
If you’d like to extend the experiment just a bit, here’s another thought. If you’d like to feel considerably better about yourself one month from today, try this. Every morning, when you get up and go out into the world, ask yourself the question, “How would I behave today if I were a far more loving and generous person than I’ve typically been?”
Then, as the days play out, go with what your instincts tell you to do as you interact with work colleagues, store clerks and other customer service people you come in contact with, maintenance people who keep things in your world clean, homeless people you meet on the streets, police and security personnel who help keep your environments safe and crime-free, customers you come across in your shopping trips, and drivers you encounter when you’re on the roadways.
Occasionally, you might try the “pay it forward” method of paying the parking ticket, or the cost of the meal, or even the grocery bill of the person in line behind you. Or, when you’re tipping a service worker, ignore the percentage rules of thumb you normally employ, and consider dropping a ten, twenty, fifty, or even one-hundred-dollar bill to some hard-working waitperson who’s done an exemplary job (if you’ve got the resources, the amount will be nothing to you, but it will likely make the day—and possibly even the year—of the person receiving it).
And if you’d like your thinking stimulated by a number of other good ideas, take a few minutes to read “50 Ways to Be Ridiculously Generous—and Feel Ridiculously Good,” a fascinating 2013 blog post by Alexandra Franzen.
Before doing anything, though, take a few moments to peruse this week’s selection of quotations on this week’s theme:
I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver. — Maya Angelou
One of the deep secrets of Life—that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others. — Lewis Carroll
For it is in giving that we receive. — The Prayer of Saint Francis
In the sphere of material things, giving means being rich. Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much. — Erich Fromm
Trying to get without first giving is as fruitless as trying to reap without having sown. — Napoleon Hill
The love we give away is the only love we keep. — Elbert Hubbard
If the world seems cold to you,/Kindle fires to warm it! — Lucy Larcom
We make our living by what we get. We make our life by what we give. — Benjamin E. Mays
You have to be very careful when you give to others that you don’t tell them how great you are rather than how much you value them. — Merle Shain
The miracle is this—the more we share, the more we have. — Leonard Nimoy
For source information on these quotations, and many others on the topic of GIVING, go here. For quotations on LOVE, go here.
Cartoon of the Week
Answer to This Week’s Puzzler:
Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926)
Dr. Mardy’s Observation of the Week
Thanks for joining me again this week. See you next Sunday morning, when the theme will be “A New Year.”
Mardy Grothe
Websites: www.drmardy.com and www.GreatOpeningLines.com
Regarding My Lifelong Love of Quotations: A Personal Note
I'm up way to late but what a treat to read this! Such a good reminder. I hope some of the MAGA folks might see. Not trying to make this political but can't help but say my thoughts.
Merry Christmas, Mardy!!!