Opening Line of the Week
I love a great oxymoronic opening, and this one has been a personal favorite for more than two decades. The words come from narrator and protagonist Laura Pomfret, a middle-aged Minnesota mother and housewife whose life is upended when she receives an invitation to her 25th high school reunion.
As she thinks about attending what would be her first reunion, the invitation triggers painful memories of boyfriend Lanny Merkel asking her “to return his letter sweater, class ring, identification bracelet, framed photograph, National Honor Society pin, and copy of From Here to Eternity with all the good parts underlined.”
As Laura frets over whether or not to attend, she also begins to worry that many will still remember the fourteen “Repent, Lanny Merkel” signs she posted all around town on the night of her high school graduation.
For nearly 2,000 memorable opening lines from every genre of world literature, go to www.GreatOpeningLines.com.
This Week’s Puzzler
On April 24, 1940, this woman was born in Louisville, Kentucky. The daughter of a crime novelist, she followed in her father's footsteps, writing her first novel while still in college. In the decade after graduating from the University of Louisville in 1961, she wrote seven novels, only two of which were published (both to very disappointing sales). Many years later, she said of her early writing efforts:
“Of the first 7 novels I wrote, numbers 4 and 5 were published. Numbers 1, 2, 3, 6, and 7 have never seen the light of day…and rightly so."
Unable to find success as a novelist, she spent the next fifteen years writing television screenplays. While she experienced a fair amount of success, she despised the industry and continued to dream of a novel-writing career. Then, one day, she found herself reading Edward Gorey’s The Gashlycrumb Tinies, a 1963 rhyming book in which English schoolchildren meet macabre deaths: “A is for Amy who fell down the stairs; B is for Basil assaulted by bears; C is for Clara who wasted away; D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh,” and so forth.
”I was smitten with all those little Victorian children being dispatched in various ways,” she told The New York Times in 2015, adding, “Edward Gorey was deliciously bent.” Gorey’s book inspired the idea of writing a mystery series based on letters of the alphabet, and, in 1982, at age 42, she came out with “A” is for Alibi, the first in a planned “alphabet series” of novels.
The novel’s protagonist was Kinsey Millhone, a private investigator who was only five years old when her parents died in a car accident. Raised by an eccentric maternal aunt who taught her how to shoot a gun, Kinsey preferred the company of boys as she grew up. She ultimately became a police officer, and then a private investigator. Here’s how she introduced herself in the opening paragraph of that first novel:
“A” is for Alibi immediately found an enthusiastic audience, and, three years later, it was followed by “B” is for Burglar (1985). Still reasonably young, at age forty-five, the author was hoping to write a book for every letter of the alphabet—and she nearly succeeded. After her 25th book in the series (“Y” is for Yesterday) in 2017, she was working on her final book (“Z” is for Zero) when she died—at age 77—in 2017 after a two-year battle with cancer. It had long been known that the author refused to have her books adapted into films or made-for-TV movies, so few were surprised to learn that she had stipulated that, in the event of her death, the final unfinished novel would never be completed by a ghostwriter.
The twenty-five Kinsey Millhone books made this week’s Mystery Woman one of the most successful crime novelists of modern times. Her novels have also been greatly appreciated by quotation lovers, who’ve savored the many clever and provocative observations contained within (most, but not all, from Kinsey herself). “B” is for Burglar, for example, contains this thought on the nature of insecurity:
Who is this person? (Answer below)
How Has Insecurity Shown Up in Your Life?
This quotation in this week’s Puzzler speaks to a familiar theme in the lives of almost all people. Growing up, most of us have known several people who were so insecure it didn’t take much for their condition to suddenly flare up. Just close your eyes for a moment and think about it. Here’s a hint: think tears, anger, or emotional outbursts.
The Puzzler passage also brought to mind one of my favorite sayings: “Some people have long toes—meaning it’s easy to step on them.” And it also got me thinking about what it means to be insecure. Or, for that matter, secure.
When the prefix -in is placed before a word, it means “not.” So, with word pairs like insecure-secure and insecurity-security, one cannot understand the first word without knowing what the second word means.
So, if insecure means “not secure,” what does it mean to be secure? In the 19th century and earlier—well before the modern psychological world essentially co-opted the terms—secure was used in a variety of contexts to denote states of safety and stability. If something was not secure—or insecure—it was considered unpredictable at best, and, at worst, unsafe or even dangerous.
In the realms of statecraft and warfare, for example, a secure perimeter referred to a fortified boundary or defensive line to prevent enemy incursions. An insecure perimeter, by contrast, indicated a vulnerable or poorly defended boundary. The terms were also commonly employed in the financial world, where a secure investment offered stability and predictable returns, while an insecure one came with higher levels of uncertainty and a greater financial risk.
The words secure and insecure are also key terms in architecture, engineering, and the construction world, where buildings, bridges, coliseums, dams and other structures must be so well designed and constructed they will not fail under stress. I’ll have more to say on this below, but, before I do, take a look at this entry from a journal Charles Darwin kept while serving on the H.M.S. Beagle:
This entry is of interest for several reasons. First, it’s an early use of the concept of human insecurity (I’ve put the key phrase in italics above). Darwin’s observation is also a reminder that, in human life, true security is a myth. Yes, we can operate as if we’re safe and secure—for years, or even decades—but in a split second, it can all change dramatically. And finally, Darwin’s observation points us in a direction that might be helpful as we think about human insecurity. Let me explain.
After a natural disaster, a building or bridge that remains safe and secure is said to have “structural integrity” (the word integrity derives from a Latin root meaning “whole; complete”). Structures without integrity are the first to crumble during a disaster, and when this happens, the search for the cause of the failure is called a forensic investigation. In almost all cases, some integral feature about secure buildings is absent, and that critical factor is identified as the culprit. The usual suspects include design flaws, material deficiencies, construction errors, and maintenance issues.
As we move from the physical to the human world, can we apply the concept of “structural integrity” to people? Are there some analogous core ingredients in human beings that might be called “psychological integrity”?
People who are commonly regarded as secure, for example, have the self-esteem, emotional maturity, and coping skills that are essential to survive the many challenges life throws at them. But what about insecure people? If we were able to do a forensics investigation of the risk factors, what has occurred in the lives of insecure people that has weakened the human equivalent of structural integrity? Let’s begin with the American Psychological definition of insecurity:
By highlighting the feeling of inadequacy—which I regard as the central characteristic of insecurity— the definition starts off well. And by mentioning the lack of self-confidence, it continues strongly. If, for example, you were to hear a college sophomore say, “I know more than the professors,” you would immediately—and correctly—regard it as the remark of an insecure person who is masking a lack of self-confidence with an immature display of bravado.
The APA definition then drifts into shaky territory by suggesting that insecure people have an “inability to cope.” This clearly flies in the face of reality, since it is now universally accepted that highly insecure people have risen to the top of nearly every profession in the world. If insecure people had an inability to cope, such a thing would never happen.
The additional claim that insecure people have a “general uncertainty and anxiety” is also highly questionable. While the defense mechanisms used by insecure people may be psychologically maladaptive and interpersonally ineffective—as they clearly are in such common insecurity symptoms as arrogance and jealousy—they allow the person to view the problem as “out there” rather than within themselves, effectively ridding themselves of personal responsibility—and the anxiety going along with it.
To return to the “structural integrity” analogy introduced earlier, the big question with insecure people might go something like this: What happened early on that might have weakened their “psychological integrity?” Phrased another way, the question is not “Is someone insecure?” but rather “Why did someone become insecure?”
Compared to the examination of physical structures, the potential trouble spots are infinitely more complex with human beings, but most psychologists would probably agree that the root of the problem likely originated early in life. And, as with all forensic examinations, there are some “reasonable suspects” to be rounded up.
Some of the key questions include: (1) Did the child grow up in a safe and emotionally nurturing environment, where there were physical as well as verbal demonstrations of love and caring? (2) Did mental or physical illness—or such other problems as alcoholism and substance abuse—prevent parents from meeting the many emotional needs of the growing child? (3) Did the child grow up in a predictable and safe environment, or was it an erratic and unpredictable world peppered with domestic disputes and emotional outbursts? (4) Did the child receive a sufficient amount of love and affection, or was the love so conditional and performance-based that the child felt love had to be earned or deserved by acting in certain ways?
As our examination goes beyond the early childhood years, new questions must be asked, including those that take us into some dark and disturbing places. I won’t be delving any further into the topic here, but let me conclude by saying that, despite all the wonder that goes along with our early years, childhood can also be hazardous to our emotional and mental health as adults.
This week, spend some time thinking about how insecurity has played out in your life. Also invite a few friends to share their ideas and experiences with you (it's a subject people generally love to talk about). And, as usual, treat this week's selection of quotations as a stimulus for your thinking:
I’m always described as “cocksure” or “with a swagger,” and that bears no resemblance to who I feel like inside. I feel plagued by insecurity. — Ben Affleck
QUOTE NOTE: Affleck made this remark in 2006, as he described the way he felt when he directed his first feature film, “Gone Baby Gone.” I regard his comment as a form of “situational” as opposed to “characterological” adversity.
Imitation is the sincerest form of insecurity. — Polly Bergen
Only the insecure strive for security. — Wayne W. Dyer
Belligerence is the hallmark of insecurity—the secure nation does not need threat to maintain its position. Dwight D. Eisenhower
QUOTE NOTE: Eisenhower made this remark before he became U. S. President in 1952. In 1976, President Carter was almost certainly inspired by Ike’s words when he said: “It’s a weak nation, like a weak person, that must behave with bluster and boasting and rashness and other signs of insecurity.”
Never underestimate the insecurity of a star. — William Goldman
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. — Robert A. Heinlein,
With exceptions so rare that they are regarded as miracles and freaks of nature, successful democratic politicians are insecure and intimidated men. — Walter Lippmann
QUOTE NOTE: Not much was known of this now-famous 1955 observation by Lippmann until the following year when it was quoted in John F. Kennedy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning book Profiles in Courage (1956).
Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt—a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. — Joseph Nowinski
Never work for anyone more insecure than yourself. — Roger Rosenblatt
Arrogance really comes from insecurity, and in the end our feeling that we are bigger than others is really the flip side of our feeling that we are smaller than others. — Desmond Tutu
For source information on these quotations, and many others on the topic of INSECURITY, go here.
Cartoon of the Week:
Answer to This Week’s Puzzler:
Sue Grafton (1940-2017)
In an obituary in The Guardian, Michael Carlson wrote: “Sue Grafton, who has died aged 77, was a trailblazing writer of American detective stories. Her 25 novels featuring the private eye Kinsey Millhone, which began with A is for Alibi in 1982 and extended through the alphabet to Y is for Yesterday (2016), established the hard-boiled female detective as a viable alternative to the males who had dominated the genre.”
Dr. Mardy’s Observation of the Week:
Thanks for joining me again this week. See you next Sunday morning, when the theme will be “Understanding Others.”
Mardy Grothe
Websites: www.drmardy.com and www.GreatOpeningLines.com
Regarding My Lifelong Love of Quotations: A Personal Note
Dr Mardy, thank you for helping to make sense of our world, both within and without. Much appreciated and most grateful. Jim
Greetings, ...The new Substock format is generally much longer ,but hardly any better than the previous one. Less is more...!
best wishes, andrew