Happy Birthday!! May you continue to feel like the lad you were at 19 👍of course w/ the wisdom gained from all the years since.
Mardy, you know this, I'm just commenting for others to possibly try. A way to try to understand another's position when discussing something of disagreement with them is to repeat back what you hear them saying. Then they say yes, you've got it, or no, try again. Do this, digging deeper for more understanding, at least for 3 'yesses'.
Thanks for the birthday wishes and other thoughts. What you are recommending is what I call a "read-back," and it is one of the most powerful communication tools in existence.
UNDERSTANDING: I wrote this 5 years ago when I found out at age 80 that I'm half Jewish. The flavor of my past has been re-seasoned. All the knowledge and history I have of the holocaust now feels different to me as a Jew. I know that it shouldn’t, but it does. It didn’t happen to them. It happened to us. That, my friends, is profoundly different. Just by understanding and coming to grips with that factoid, I can better understand that likely, I can’t ever understand the black experience. The gay experience. The female perspective. It’s like walking a mile in someone else’s shoes – when you finally realize that those shoes you’re in are your shoes. I realize, maybe for the first time, that I can’t be black, gay, or female, and I can’t “feel their pain.” The way for me to experience black, gay or female would be for me to wake up as one. Then, I’d be one. “It takes one to know one,” now has a different meaning for me. It’s a truism.
may I ask how you are "half Jewish"? My dad was Jewish, my mom
Christian. No Jewish person sees me as Jewish or half Jewish. Nazis would see me as Jewish. Kind-of like during the times in our history of deep prejudice (still remains in some) where a "drop" of negro blood made one a negro. Obama was seen as Black, the first Black President. His mother was white. I always wondered how she felt being left out of the equation. Now one of my sons (I'm white) is married to a Chinese woman; they have 3 children. They very much look Asian. Do people see their dad? Think they're adopted when they're just w/ him? Or just w/ me? Now, thankfully, when checking boxes in regard to 'race' very recently one has the option of checking more than 1 box so my grandchildren can check Asian and Caucasian.
I very much like your post.
Reminds me of a book by John Howard Griffin "Black Like Me"
My dad and his family were Jewish. Being born in 1938, I was not going to be taught German. Dad never let on that he was Jewish, though we knew his parents were from Austria. I'll send you the whole 5 page essay. Email me at:
Mike@wildcardvideo.com. I read "Black Like Me" in 1968, I think. It was profound, wasn't it? Your thoughts here are very like my own.
Happy Birthday! Wishing you many more years doing what makes you happy. I am also 82 and trying to beat lymphoma with as much success as you had with the "beast".
Happy Birthday! I hope you and your wife have a great celebration!
I loved this week's message. It is so tempting to think we understand even a close family member, then they turn around and do something totally "out of character." The character we have created in our own minds!! This is a great reminder of how to approach any interaction...to just be present!
Thanks for the kind words and B-Day wishes, John. I don't think you're nit-picking at all. Scout is clearly the narrator of the story, and one of the novel's main characters, but I would regard Atticus Finch as the protagonist. I recall reading somewhere that Atticus was the "moral center" of the novel, and that description always stayed with me.
Happy Birthday, Mardy! Great message(s) today…thanks!
Truly my pleasure!
A trusted friend always used to remind me, "The oppressed know their oppressor better the the oppressor knows the oppressed."
Many more happy birthdays are wished for you.
Thanks for the B-Day wishes. I've also seen that passage. A good one.
Well Mardy, you hit that one out of the park! And, Happy Birthday!
The optical brain,
psyche edited,
film memory movie,
is indistinguishable from,
the pseudo optical fiction,
psyche edited,
pseudo memory movie.
It’s only our distinction between the two and our appreciation of the nuanced production of both that gives us a chance at empathy.
Thanks for your kind words and other thoughts, Brent.
Happy Birthday!! May you continue to feel like the lad you were at 19 👍of course w/ the wisdom gained from all the years since.
Mardy, you know this, I'm just commenting for others to possibly try. A way to try to understand another's position when discussing something of disagreement with them is to repeat back what you hear them saying. Then they say yes, you've got it, or no, try again. Do this, digging deeper for more understanding, at least for 3 'yesses'.
Thanks for the birthday wishes and other thoughts. What you are recommending is what I call a "read-back," and it is one of the most powerful communication tools in existence.
Happy birthday!
Thanks, Karen.
UNDERSTANDING: I wrote this 5 years ago when I found out at age 80 that I'm half Jewish. The flavor of my past has been re-seasoned. All the knowledge and history I have of the holocaust now feels different to me as a Jew. I know that it shouldn’t, but it does. It didn’t happen to them. It happened to us. That, my friends, is profoundly different. Just by understanding and coming to grips with that factoid, I can better understand that likely, I can’t ever understand the black experience. The gay experience. The female perspective. It’s like walking a mile in someone else’s shoes – when you finally realize that those shoes you’re in are your shoes. I realize, maybe for the first time, that I can’t be black, gay, or female, and I can’t “feel their pain.” The way for me to experience black, gay or female would be for me to wake up as one. Then, I’d be one. “It takes one to know one,” now has a different meaning for me. It’s a truism.
may I ask how you are "half Jewish"? My dad was Jewish, my mom
Christian. No Jewish person sees me as Jewish or half Jewish. Nazis would see me as Jewish. Kind-of like during the times in our history of deep prejudice (still remains in some) where a "drop" of negro blood made one a negro. Obama was seen as Black, the first Black President. His mother was white. I always wondered how she felt being left out of the equation. Now one of my sons (I'm white) is married to a Chinese woman; they have 3 children. They very much look Asian. Do people see their dad? Think they're adopted when they're just w/ him? Or just w/ me? Now, thankfully, when checking boxes in regard to 'race' very recently one has the option of checking more than 1 box so my grandchildren can check Asian and Caucasian.
I very much like your post.
Reminds me of a book by John Howard Griffin "Black Like Me"
My dad and his family were Jewish. Being born in 1938, I was not going to be taught German. Dad never let on that he was Jewish, though we knew his parents were from Austria. I'll send you the whole 5 page essay. Email me at:
Mike@wildcardvideo.com. I read "Black Like Me" in 1968, I think. It was profound, wasn't it? Your thoughts here are very like my own.
Thanks for sharing that fascinating aspect of your story, Mike. What a world-changing piece of news!
Happy Birthday! Wishing you many more years doing what makes you happy. I am also 82 and trying to beat lymphoma with as much success as you had with the "beast".
Thanks for your kind B-Day wishes, my friend. I wish you the best with your own health issues.
Happy Birthday, Mardy!
Thanks, John.
Happy Birthday! I hope you and your wife have a great celebration!
I loved this week's message. It is so tempting to think we understand even a close family member, then they turn around and do something totally "out of character." The character we have created in our own minds!! This is a great reminder of how to approach any interaction...to just be present!
Hello Barbara. Thanks for the kind B-Day wishes and your other thoughts on this week's theme. It is one of life's great challenges, isn't it?
Indeed!!!
Great newsletter. As always. And happy birthday!
(Am I picking a nit to say that the protagonist of To Kill at Mockingbird was Jean Louise "Scout" Finch, rather than her father Atticus Finch?)
Thanks for the kind words and B-Day wishes, John. I don't think you're nit-picking at all. Scout is clearly the narrator of the story, and one of the novel's main characters, but I would regard Atticus Finch as the protagonist. I recall reading somewhere that Atticus was the "moral center" of the novel, and that description always stayed with me.