Thank you Mardy for another stimulating column on aiming. Two thoughts. Writers are always aiming to be clear, understandable, and maybe even memorable. They aim for perfection. But as author John Simmons put it, “Perfection is always within sight but always out of reach.” My other idea: life changes aims. I aimed to become a priest and I did. But after I left and got married, a new aim emerged. Each phase of life offers a new opportunity to aim again, to reload, to find a new cause. And as is said about politics, “Causes give courage.” An aim plus the courage to pursuit it can bring a life of satisfaction. I am grateful you have achieved your aim to “become one of the world’s most respected quotation anthologists.”
Thanks John, that is a classic, and I probably should have found a way to work it into the piece. I have now included it in the the AIMS & AIMING section of my DMDMG: https://www.drmardy.com/dmdmq/a#aims_aiming
I was glad your writing included 'purpose' as well as 'aim'. I've aimed along the way, but more importantly, 2 things in my life have had purpose. I try, but often fail, to act w/ the question "What would Jesus do?". And following in both of my parent's footsteps I've been a volunteer all my adult life, & I'm now 74.
I have to insert here that I learned, belatedly, my ex was antisemitic. My mom was Christian, my dad Jewish. My ex's aim in life was to make $. My dad did so, however, as stated above he also gave to the community in many ways & had many hobbies, etc. When my dad died, he monetarily passed along just a little to me, which I understood totally, but my ex thought that was the 'Jew' in him & thought he was a bad dad. Before then, my ex showed other ways of his antisemitic beliefs, but I won't go into that. I'm including this now because I believe all of this is anonymous & I give anonymously, no one in the community knows, the recipients don't know who gives this to them, my kids don't even know, full-ride, 4 yr university scholarships to merit deserving low-income kids in our county. This is set up until I die. At that time, those receiving it will continue until they graduate, then my kids can make a decision to continue or not. That is part of my volunteer work. My purpose in life gives me extreme pleasure & I'm grateful to be able to do so.
dj...........your reply was great! I really appreciated your insights. In case you aren't familiar with Maimonides...RamBam's Ladder....here's something about giving that we all can benefit from........... Degree # 1 — He who gives alms reluctantly with a frowning countenance
Degree # 2 — He who cheerfully gives alms to the poor but gives far less than what is appropriate.
Degree # 3 — He who hands alms to the poor after being asked
Degree # 4 — He who hands alms to the poor before he has to ask, thus sparing him the shame of begging
Degree # 5 — He who gives alms to a poor man who knows the giver but giver does not know who is receiving his gift. The giver is like the Sages who used to throw money over their shoulders for the poor to collect. Thus the humiliation of the poor would not be exposed.
Degree # 6 — He who gives alms anonymously to someone he knows
Degree # 7 — He who gives alms to someone he doesn’t know and does so anonymously. One should not contribute directly to the alms fund unless he knows the person in charge of the fund is trustworthy.
Degree # 8 — The highest degree of alms giving is to uphold the hands of the poor by giving him a loan, entering into a partnership with him, or finding work for him so that he would longer need to beg—thus removing his shame.
You know, I didn't know where RamBam came from but I did know about Maimonides... so I had to Google it.... and was surprised to find this answer: Maimonides’s full name was Moses ben Maimon; in Hebrew, he is known by the acronym of Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, Rambam. This is often done with Hebrew names.... You know that written hebrew has no vowels...interesting language.
Thanks for weighing in on the subject, dj. Most interesting about your father and your ex. I also really admire your approach to giving. It brought to mind a wonderful quotation from Henry Ward Beecher: "Do not give, as many rich men do, like a hen that lays her egg and then cackles."
Mardy, et.al. It's more than just 'aiming'.... Aiming is a lot like wishing, hoping, wanting....if you don't add DOING, then it's all for naught, isn't it?
It's so important to have youre ethics at hand while aiming and deciding on a purpose. I'm observing all the hap hazzard "aiming" in Mr Trumps first few weeks. I cringe.
bringing politics into it? I'm not a Trump fan... however the elite Universities should get the attention they're getting!! And the Biden cover-up, & the way the media was involved.
You're someone I think I'd like to exchange ideas with again. I kind of know you through this venue. If you're interested, ask Mardy for my email. Mike
What a treat this reminder is. I totally agree with the importance of aiming high. But how easy it is for me to slip into a day to day existence…especially after retirement. I’m on a better path! Thank you!
"Aims are related to having a sense of purpose or mission—something that gives meaning to our existence." One of many qualities that sets man apart from animals is this desire for purpose. Unlike beasts, we ask ourselves, "Why am I here? What is life all about?" We all seek the answer to that age-old question, "What is the meaning of life?" We may find things that make us happy and things that help others and make the world a better place. But, if we believe that this life is it--that we live a handful of decades and then die, never again to enjoy a conscious thought--what should any of it matter?
Thanks for weighing in on the theme, Scott. I see where you're coming from, and what you're suggesting, and my only thought is, "It still matters to me."
let me add another 'aim', based on what has happened this past week. A close neighbor, her husband & their visiting daughter were in a head-on car collision, no fault of theirs, last Sunday. The daughter is still in the hospital w/ multiple broken bones. The husband was rushed to the trauma care hospital in a coma. The wife died instantly. They're Jewish, so services for her were held asap this past Wed. During the gathering afterwards, everyone was notified the husband had died. His service is today.
You never know what might happen in a split second. An 'aim' might be to rid oneself of any hatred in your mind/heart, wherever it might reside.
Brilliant to include the clip of the changing of the guard at Arlington. I watched it with fascination, and not a little uneasiness at what to make of that kind of extraordinary discipline.
Curiously, I had a tangential relationship with William Sloane Coffin because he was a mentor, if you can imagine this, of Jeb Magruder. Still seems odd to me that I became close friends with Jeb when he was at the White House. Long story.
Thanks, Blayney. I hadn't thought about it before, but your comment also surfaced a little tingling of uneasiness on my part as well. Thanks for that additional tidbit. Hard to imagine that Coffin-Magruder connection. In your next personal e-mail to me, tell me the story.
It's always "Sunday Mornings with Mardy" in this house.
I've always considered myself extremely fortunate to know, from my earliest age, what I wanted to do with my life. This made many decisions easy, as to which road to take. I aimed high and ultimately achieved my goal when my singing brought praise from, not only my fellow musicians, but music critics as well. The fact that I did not become known world-wide was beside the point. As for being a piano tuner, that goal, as well, was a high ambition. I never gained the lofty title of RPT (Registered Piano Technician), but the biggest failure in life is in not trying. My tuning customers stayed with me for years, so I must have done something right. "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." Are you familiar with that lovely song? I never considered myself too old or too foolish to try something new.
My cousin is in an orchestra in New Jersey (I’m on my phone so can’t easily find a link). She has taught just about every instrument to many students through out the years as well as vocal lessons. She’s now retired but continues with a few students & the orchestra & her love of her boat 😊.
Her instrument of choice is the oboe
She travels the world & loves life. Side note: when I divorced at the age of 65 she was excited to think she’d have another traveling companion, but now I’m remarried… ah well
I’m in awe of any musician of any sort. Husband & I play pool every afternoon with music in the background & I “try” to sing along (cousin says anyone can learn to sing 😏) & I often sing a different verse… my bday is approaching so perhaps I’ll get a karaoke machine 🎶
Thanks, dj. I am also in awe of musicians, probably because I'm completely lacking in musical talent. A suggestion: tell your husband to read the "Comments" section. Maybe he'll get the hint!
Thanks, Pat, what a nice thing for you to say. I'm touched. And thanks for your additional reflections as well. In my mind, you'll always be a world-class singer.
When people asked about the success of our charitable org., Rogerson Communities Boston, I would answer, "we get things done". "How", some would say? "Two words", I always replied, "intent and presumption".
Jack Nicklaus was famous for his aim and was fond of saying, "never leave a birdie put short".
Thanks, Jamie. That is a most interesting answer. I get the "intent" part, but perhaps you could expand on the "presumption" part. Also loved the Nicklaus quote.
one more comment (i've overdone my limit this week, I think!)... my mother used to say 'if you don't know where you're going, you'll probably wind up someplace else.' Today was a good day Mardy...for contemplation...and I obviously had the time to reply. Thank you for all you do. I love Sundays!!
Thank you Mardy for another stimulating column on aiming. Two thoughts. Writers are always aiming to be clear, understandable, and maybe even memorable. They aim for perfection. But as author John Simmons put it, “Perfection is always within sight but always out of reach.” My other idea: life changes aims. I aimed to become a priest and I did. But after I left and got married, a new aim emerged. Each phase of life offers a new opportunity to aim again, to reload, to find a new cause. And as is said about politics, “Causes give courage.” An aim plus the courage to pursuit it can bring a life of satisfaction. I am grateful you have achieved your aim to “become one of the world’s most respected quotation anthologists.”
Thanks for your kind words, and thanks for sharing your story. Your comment got me thinking that there's an aim for every stage.
"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?"
Thanks John, that is a classic, and I probably should have found a way to work it into the piece. I have now included it in the the AIMS & AIMING section of my DMDMG: https://www.drmardy.com/dmdmq/a#aims_aiming
I was glad your writing included 'purpose' as well as 'aim'. I've aimed along the way, but more importantly, 2 things in my life have had purpose. I try, but often fail, to act w/ the question "What would Jesus do?". And following in both of my parent's footsteps I've been a volunteer all my adult life, & I'm now 74.
I have to insert here that I learned, belatedly, my ex was antisemitic. My mom was Christian, my dad Jewish. My ex's aim in life was to make $. My dad did so, however, as stated above he also gave to the community in many ways & had many hobbies, etc. When my dad died, he monetarily passed along just a little to me, which I understood totally, but my ex thought that was the 'Jew' in him & thought he was a bad dad. Before then, my ex showed other ways of his antisemitic beliefs, but I won't go into that. I'm including this now because I believe all of this is anonymous & I give anonymously, no one in the community knows, the recipients don't know who gives this to them, my kids don't even know, full-ride, 4 yr university scholarships to merit deserving low-income kids in our county. This is set up until I die. At that time, those receiving it will continue until they graduate, then my kids can make a decision to continue or not. That is part of my volunteer work. My purpose in life gives me extreme pleasure & I'm grateful to be able to do so.
dj...........your reply was great! I really appreciated your insights. In case you aren't familiar with Maimonides...RamBam's Ladder....here's something about giving that we all can benefit from........... Degree # 1 — He who gives alms reluctantly with a frowning countenance
Degree # 2 — He who cheerfully gives alms to the poor but gives far less than what is appropriate.
Degree # 3 — He who hands alms to the poor after being asked
Degree # 4 — He who hands alms to the poor before he has to ask, thus sparing him the shame of begging
Degree # 5 — He who gives alms to a poor man who knows the giver but giver does not know who is receiving his gift. The giver is like the Sages who used to throw money over their shoulders for the poor to collect. Thus the humiliation of the poor would not be exposed.
Degree # 6 — He who gives alms anonymously to someone he knows
Degree # 7 — He who gives alms to someone he doesn’t know and does so anonymously. One should not contribute directly to the alms fund unless he knows the person in charge of the fund is trustworthy.
Degree # 8 — The highest degree of alms giving is to uphold the hands of the poor by giving him a loan, entering into a partnership with him, or finding work for him so that he would longer need to beg—thus removing his shame.
I wasn't aware of that ladder/those degrees of giving. I give anonymously because in faith it's simply to avoid any public recognition.
Thanks for sharing the ladder conception, Arlene. Very instructive. Why is it called RamBam's Ladder?
You know, I didn't know where RamBam came from but I did know about Maimonides... so I had to Google it.... and was surprised to find this answer: Maimonides’s full name was Moses ben Maimon; in Hebrew, he is known by the acronym of Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, Rambam. This is often done with Hebrew names.... You know that written hebrew has no vowels...interesting language.
I’ve learned a lot today - thank you
Most interesting. Thanks.
Thanks for weighing in on the subject, dj. Most interesting about your father and your ex. I also really admire your approach to giving. It brought to mind a wonderful quotation from Henry Ward Beecher: "Do not give, as many rich men do, like a hen that lays her egg and then cackles."
Mardy, et.al. It's more than just 'aiming'.... Aiming is a lot like wishing, hoping, wanting....if you don't add DOING, then it's all for naught, isn't it?
An excellent point, Arlene. Thanks for helping to clarify the concept.
Brings to mind the theme "ready, aim, fire." To wit, get your incentive, set your aim/goal, and then fire - - or, do it!
It's so important to have youre ethics at hand while aiming and deciding on a purpose. I'm observing all the hap hazzard "aiming" in Mr Trumps first few weeks. I cringe.
bringing politics into it? I'm not a Trump fan... however the elite Universities should get the attention they're getting!! And the Biden cover-up, & the way the media was involved.
You're someone I think I'd like to exchange ideas with again. I kind of know you through this venue. If you're interested, ask Mardy for my email. Mike
Thanks, Mike, a helpful reminder that there can be ignoble as well as noble aims.
What a treat this reminder is. I totally agree with the importance of aiming high. But how easy it is for me to slip into a day to day existence…especially after retirement. I’m on a better path! Thank you!
Thanks MDB. I think that tendency exists in all of us at every stage of life, so we must be vigilant.
"Aims are related to having a sense of purpose or mission—something that gives meaning to our existence." One of many qualities that sets man apart from animals is this desire for purpose. Unlike beasts, we ask ourselves, "Why am I here? What is life all about?" We all seek the answer to that age-old question, "What is the meaning of life?" We may find things that make us happy and things that help others and make the world a better place. But, if we believe that this life is it--that we live a handful of decades and then die, never again to enjoy a conscious thought--what should any of it matter?
Thanks for weighing in on the theme, Scott. I see where you're coming from, and what you're suggesting, and my only thought is, "It still matters to me."
let me add another 'aim', based on what has happened this past week. A close neighbor, her husband & their visiting daughter were in a head-on car collision, no fault of theirs, last Sunday. The daughter is still in the hospital w/ multiple broken bones. The husband was rushed to the trauma care hospital in a coma. The wife died instantly. They're Jewish, so services for her were held asap this past Wed. During the gathering afterwards, everyone was notified the husband had died. His service is today.
You never know what might happen in a split second. An 'aim' might be to rid oneself of any hatred in your mind/heart, wherever it might reside.
Thanks, dj. What a story! What a tragedy! I applaud your suggested "aim"!
Brilliant to include the clip of the changing of the guard at Arlington. I watched it with fascination, and not a little uneasiness at what to make of that kind of extraordinary discipline.
Curiously, I had a tangential relationship with William Sloane Coffin because he was a mentor, if you can imagine this, of Jeb Magruder. Still seems odd to me that I became close friends with Jeb when he was at the White House. Long story.
Thanks, Blayney. I hadn't thought about it before, but your comment also surfaced a little tingling of uneasiness on my part as well. Thanks for that additional tidbit. Hard to imagine that Coffin-Magruder connection. In your next personal e-mail to me, tell me the story.
It's always "Sunday Mornings with Mardy" in this house.
I've always considered myself extremely fortunate to know, from my earliest age, what I wanted to do with my life. This made many decisions easy, as to which road to take. I aimed high and ultimately achieved my goal when my singing brought praise from, not only my fellow musicians, but music critics as well. The fact that I did not become known world-wide was beside the point. As for being a piano tuner, that goal, as well, was a high ambition. I never gained the lofty title of RPT (Registered Piano Technician), but the biggest failure in life is in not trying. My tuning customers stayed with me for years, so I must have done something right. "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." Are you familiar with that lovely song? I never considered myself too old or too foolish to try something new.
My cousin is in an orchestra in New Jersey (I’m on my phone so can’t easily find a link). She has taught just about every instrument to many students through out the years as well as vocal lessons. She’s now retired but continues with a few students & the orchestra & her love of her boat 😊.
Her instrument of choice is the oboe
She travels the world & loves life. Side note: when I divorced at the age of 65 she was excited to think she’d have another traveling companion, but now I’m remarried… ah well
I’m in awe of any musician of any sort. Husband & I play pool every afternoon with music in the background & I “try” to sing along (cousin says anyone can learn to sing 😏) & I often sing a different verse… my bday is approaching so perhaps I’ll get a karaoke machine 🎶
Thanks, dj. I am also in awe of musicians, probably because I'm completely lacking in musical talent. A suggestion: tell your husband to read the "Comments" section. Maybe he'll get the hint!
Thanks, Pat, what a nice thing for you to say. I'm touched. And thanks for your additional reflections as well. In my mind, you'll always be a world-class singer.
Dr. Mardy,
When people asked about the success of our charitable org., Rogerson Communities Boston, I would answer, "we get things done". "How", some would say? "Two words", I always replied, "intent and presumption".
Jack Nicklaus was famous for his aim and was fond of saying, "never leave a birdie put short".
Best,
Jamie
Thanks, Jamie. That is a most interesting answer. I get the "intent" part, but perhaps you could expand on the "presumption" part. Also loved the Nicklaus quote.
The intent is we aim to meet the goal. The presumption is an arrogance born of experience telling us that we will.
one more comment (i've overdone my limit this week, I think!)... my mother used to say 'if you don't know where you're going, you'll probably wind up someplace else.' Today was a good day Mardy...for contemplation...and I obviously had the time to reply. Thank you for all you do. I love Sundays!!
Thanks, Arlene, but you should know by now that there are no limits!