This one hits home. I have many faults, but too much generosity is not one of them. Just the opposite. The lack of generosity is a fault of mine, and it's my greatest fault. I am selfish to the core. Always have been, and despite prodding like this week's newsletter, likely always will be.
Mardy, your last name begins with “G” and G could also stand for “Generosity” as your weekly column of quotations and insights is a generous gift. Thanks to your column last November, one of your readers began a generous pen pal relationship with me for which I am most grateful. In my 85 years, my proudest act, though not strictly the generosity your column describes, happened in 1983 when I helped defeat President Reagan’s Grace Commission, which tried to eliminate public utilities in America to reduce the federal deficit. I traveled to 12 states and trained mayors and utility officials to go out and give speeches to defend and save the 2,000 public utilities in our country. We won. Reagan dropped the idea and today across America public utilities help keep electric rates as low as possible. I think all of us have received more acts of generosity than we will ever be able to acknowledge, beginning with the sacrifices our families made for us.
Thanks for your kind words, Michael. I love what I do so much that I don't regard it as a form of generosity, but your comment has helped me to see that it can be described that way by others. Thanks also for sharing your amazing story! I remember that great battle, but had no clue that you were one of the combatants! Thanks for your service!
Thanks Mardy. 'grand acts of generosity' in this part of the world are few and far between. But almost daily I see 'small acts' of generosity. The skeptic in me also sees the 'strings' attached. I see that 'giving' is a 'religious requirement' so for me, that dampens the goodness that comes with receiving. For example, I love to share with my neighbors...simple things...but I have observed that within a few days, they appear at my door with a 'gift' for me..... I wish I believed that they did it out of the 'goodness of their heart' but I've come to know that they are doing so because their culture requires it. At first, I wasn't willing to accept what they were giving (usually some olive oil from their own orchards or homemade feta cheese) until I realized that I was insulting them by not accepting. Giving and taking are not as simple as they used to be... 'Generosity, with 'strings attached' makes it hard for me to feel good about accepting. BUT, I still try to help others when I'm able....as you pointed out in a recent newsletter....by giving, I'm also getting and perhaps that's why I do it. Thanks. AND....did you see the latest 'Grand Act of Generosity' by Warren Buffett? I'm certain he won't even miss it... Thanks again....stay cool!
Thanks for weighing in on this week's theme, Arlene. Every time you write, I feel as if I'm getting a lesson in "cross-cultural" communication. Thanks for the education. And thanks for reminding me about Buffett's latest. He is one of my heroes, and one of the most generous men in world history.
Not meant to be giving anyone a lesson!! ... it's the teacher in me. Besides, it seems that I've lived almost 1/2 of my life outside the US....I wish I could bring folks here to experience life in this tiny village. It's so different from back in the States. I was just sharing this video with a British friend and thought maybe some one might want to see where I live. I know it's in Turkish, but the images are what I'd like to share. My house is at the 16.20 min. mark. If you don't want to watch this, I won't be offended. I suggest you speed up the video though. I'm GENEROUSLY sharing...https://youtu.be/VOMqcpeX-rI..................... enjoy.
I want to add a quick PS to my comment. As soon as I realized who the mystery person was this week, I remembered this scene from 'the birdcage' and wanted to share it with your subscribers. ENJOY....https://youtu.be/mXkApy0gkjM
A poem by Brent Scott as if told by one of his children.
2006
My father is one of the most amazing people I ever met.
My father tithes.
He tithes to waitresses.
He says they not only feed his body, they also feed his soul. He heard at church from an expert in tithing that you tithe to what feeds your soul.
“Look at how she is polite to that woman that just gave her a ration of shit about her toast being buttered when she asked for dry with butter on the side.”
“They’re like Buddhists!” he’d say. “They’re like Buddhist monks who work at Denny’s and put up with crap and smile and are polite and take care of their kids or go to school and keep smiling through it all. They are like Super Buddhists and it feeds my soul.”
So my Dad would have a modest meal and leave the waitress a fifty or one hundred dollar tip. He had so much to get rid of each payday and he tried to give it when he got fed, both ways. Some times he wouldn’t be able to get out of the restaurant fast enough and he’d be confronted by some dear Buddhist monk hard working waitress with tears in her eyes: “You don’t know what this means to me. I needed this so bad right now….”
He knew. He knew exactly what it would mean to them. That’s why he did it. Leverage. My father is a genius.
He figured that his expression of gratitude for his good fortune would have maximum leverage in Universe as he was a devotee of R. Buckminster Fuller. Maximum use of the minimum material.
He saw the synergistic ripples flash across the world like the shock waves of Krakatoa.
He knew exactly what he was doing. He was leveraging God.
You gotta get that this was okay with God because God always liked Dad’s style. You could tell because Dad had the most amazing life. He knew God had a special place in his heart for Buddhist monk waitresses and Dad honored that.
I used Vista Print, had cups, notebooks, coasters & napkins printed up to give as gifts for family & friends, w/ a 'zig/zag, ripple' design & the words:
KINDNESS... hear the echoes; feel the ripples; create more
Thanks for relating that Mardy. I’m glad to share a little humanity here, as you’ve given me so much through your writings and friendship. I wouldn’t say I’m in the waiting room at the station for the last train out of town, but I do have the bus schedule to the station in my pocket. So, I look at our times from the perspective of knowing that, for me, soon enough, all my troubles will be over. My only hope is that, for those that have known me, they gained some strength to fight the good fight because of my having been in the world.
I haven't been the recipient of financial generosity, but endless friendship.
just a few days ago in the news, a town in Minnesota, for several years, gives their graduating seniors financial help: https://tinyurl.com/57u76zf9
used to drive me nuts, my ex would give a waitress perhaps a better than expected tip (never something like what has been mentioned) & rather than just leave, he would 'hang around' waiting for his accolades....
kind-of related to this is when the 'stars' get oooohs & ahhhhs' when they give elaborate gifts to other 'stars' who can well-afford their own elaborate stuff. A long time ago, I used to watch, & enjoy the Ellen DeGeneres show (is it still on?) when she would surprise people w/ gifts of money... (I never watch any tv now, just movies)
When I was a kid, I absolutely LOVED the show "The Millionaire", when an anonymous donor would give someone the money, tax free, & the recipient couldn't tell anyone. How they handled their 'windfall' was the gist of the show.
Thanks for weighing in on this week's theme, dj. There's a term for your ex's behavior: "performative generosity." I loved that "Millionaire" show as well, and even had a few fantasies that he'd be paying a visit to our house!
Now retired for seven years, I thrive on the memories of the charity I ran for forty-five. Sometimes country music turns the paradox of generosity on its head as in the song, " I gave her my ring and she gave me the finger".
Thanks, Jamie. How nice to be able to thrive on such wonderful memories. And thanks for sharing that song lyric. Somebody should put together a whole book of them!
Today's subject could not have come at a more poignant time. Today Heather Cox Richardson opened her column with this: "Last night just before midnight, Republicans released their new version of the omnibus budget reconciliation bill. It is a sign of just how unpopular this bill is that they released the new version just before midnight on a Friday night, a time that is the graveyard of news stories." Unfortunately for all of us this "Big Beautiful Bill" is the anathma of generosity. The 1% want even more from us. Thank you Mardy for kicking all of us in the brain and redefining what real generosity looks like. We're living in troubled times and we need to sort what is good from what is bad, or as is said in the bible -"separate the wheat from the chafe."
Thanks, Michael. Yes, the mega-wealthy folks lobbying for this latest bill could certainly learn a thing or two from people like Eugene Lang . couldn't they? But they've learned nothing from Warren Buffett and Bill Gates, two of the wealthiest and most generous men in history, so I'm not holding out much hope. I was pleasantly surprised, however, to see that the "Big Bullshit Bill," as it should be called, has even been savaged by Elon Musk. I'm baffled as to why there hasn't been a movement to get people to take what I'm calling "The Medicare/Medicaid Pledge," in which they promise to never again cast a vote for anyone who supports tax cuts for the wealthy and benefit cuts for the poor and elderly.
1. In my periodically reliable memory I purchased a copy of "Deconstructing Trump" when it was first published, but if I don't know where it is, so that purchase is likely on a very long list of "gonna do" items never acted upon. Or it's buried under my very many other books. If so, then through today's purchase I have the pleasure of securing a copy twice. At least I think I do.
2. My small group of friends were at an outside table at a lovely local restaurant in Tucson being attended by a young waitress. As is the habit of my friends, there was plenty of conversation with her and it was clear that she had money issues, so we left her a WAY over-the-top tip. After bringing the signed credit card slip inside to the register she returned, now having realized what we did. This time her manager accompanied her and their smiles of gratitude still shine in my sufficiently reliable memory. Not only was this tip a huge relief for her, but my hope is that she's paid it forward many times since then. I do like that fantasy.
3. Re: your first cartoon of a panhandler with a very different sign from the standard descriptions of homelessness, abandoned vet, etc. - It would be a most interesting sociological experiment to try out that sign for a while, then switch to the more common style and note if and how receipts change.
perhaps a generous contribution by a writer for anyone suffering from today's political climate, "The Strength You Gain by Not Taking Offense", when almost every conversation turns into a political statement.
I already commented, I don't watch any tv broadcasts. Try my best to not get into any political conversations. The few times I have, it's either an echo-chamber or heads-butting. Senseless blame-game, name-calling. The word 'hate' is used all too often. I believe I have said before my mom taught me that word is the worst word in the world to use, much worse than any curse word.
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! The Arthur Lang story is so powerful. Thank you for sharing it and the more recent photo! Wow! Also, I loved hearing about your Deconstructing Trump financier! So Powerful! Dr. Mardy, you impact many lives with weekly giving!! Thank you!
Generosity requires trusting that you have enough (money, love) to be able to spend it without impoverishing yourself. I think this explains the gross lack of generosity at the top of our culture right now. Piling up money and power at the expense of others is a sure sign diminished self-image.
I love the story about Eugene M Lang's gift! So many millionaires could do so much for this country. And thank you to the generous donor who helped make Deconstructing Trump happen. That book is so important.
This one hits home. I have many faults, but too much generosity is not one of them. Just the opposite. The lack of generosity is a fault of mine, and it's my greatest fault. I am selfish to the core. Always have been, and despite prodding like this week's newsletter, likely always will be.
Thanks, John. I have always admired your candor, but never more than this week!
Mardy, your last name begins with “G” and G could also stand for “Generosity” as your weekly column of quotations and insights is a generous gift. Thanks to your column last November, one of your readers began a generous pen pal relationship with me for which I am most grateful. In my 85 years, my proudest act, though not strictly the generosity your column describes, happened in 1983 when I helped defeat President Reagan’s Grace Commission, which tried to eliminate public utilities in America to reduce the federal deficit. I traveled to 12 states and trained mayors and utility officials to go out and give speeches to defend and save the 2,000 public utilities in our country. We won. Reagan dropped the idea and today across America public utilities help keep electric rates as low as possible. I think all of us have received more acts of generosity than we will ever be able to acknowledge, beginning with the sacrifices our families made for us.
Thanks for your kind words, Michael. I love what I do so much that I don't regard it as a form of generosity, but your comment has helped me to see that it can be described that way by others. Thanks also for sharing your amazing story! I remember that great battle, but had no clue that you were one of the combatants! Thanks for your service!
Thanks Mardy. 'grand acts of generosity' in this part of the world are few and far between. But almost daily I see 'small acts' of generosity. The skeptic in me also sees the 'strings' attached. I see that 'giving' is a 'religious requirement' so for me, that dampens the goodness that comes with receiving. For example, I love to share with my neighbors...simple things...but I have observed that within a few days, they appear at my door with a 'gift' for me..... I wish I believed that they did it out of the 'goodness of their heart' but I've come to know that they are doing so because their culture requires it. At first, I wasn't willing to accept what they were giving (usually some olive oil from their own orchards or homemade feta cheese) until I realized that I was insulting them by not accepting. Giving and taking are not as simple as they used to be... 'Generosity, with 'strings attached' makes it hard for me to feel good about accepting. BUT, I still try to help others when I'm able....as you pointed out in a recent newsletter....by giving, I'm also getting and perhaps that's why I do it. Thanks. AND....did you see the latest 'Grand Act of Generosity' by Warren Buffett? I'm certain he won't even miss it... Thanks again....stay cool!
Thanks for weighing in on this week's theme, Arlene. Every time you write, I feel as if I'm getting a lesson in "cross-cultural" communication. Thanks for the education. And thanks for reminding me about Buffett's latest. He is one of my heroes, and one of the most generous men in world history.
Not meant to be giving anyone a lesson!! ... it's the teacher in me. Besides, it seems that I've lived almost 1/2 of my life outside the US....I wish I could bring folks here to experience life in this tiny village. It's so different from back in the States. I was just sharing this video with a British friend and thought maybe some one might want to see where I live. I know it's in Turkish, but the images are what I'd like to share. My house is at the 16.20 min. mark. If you don't want to watch this, I won't be offended. I suggest you speed up the video though. I'm GENEROUSLY sharing...https://youtu.be/VOMqcpeX-rI..................... enjoy.
I want to add a quick PS to my comment. As soon as I realized who the mystery person was this week, I remembered this scene from 'the birdcage' and wanted to share it with your subscribers. ENJOY....https://youtu.be/mXkApy0gkjM
Thanks, Arlene, that is a sensational clip. I remember the scene, but I had forgotten about the Twila allusion.
My Father.
A poem by Brent Scott as if told by one of his children.
2006
My father is one of the most amazing people I ever met.
My father tithes.
He tithes to waitresses.
He says they not only feed his body, they also feed his soul. He heard at church from an expert in tithing that you tithe to what feeds your soul.
“Look at how she is polite to that woman that just gave her a ration of shit about her toast being buttered when she asked for dry with butter on the side.”
“They’re like Buddhists!” he’d say. “They’re like Buddhist monks who work at Denny’s and put up with crap and smile and are polite and take care of their kids or go to school and keep smiling through it all. They are like Super Buddhists and it feeds my soul.”
So my Dad would have a modest meal and leave the waitress a fifty or one hundred dollar tip. He had so much to get rid of each payday and he tried to give it when he got fed, both ways. Some times he wouldn’t be able to get out of the restaurant fast enough and he’d be confronted by some dear Buddhist monk hard working waitress with tears in her eyes: “You don’t know what this means to me. I needed this so bad right now….”
He knew. He knew exactly what it would mean to them. That’s why he did it. Leverage. My father is a genius.
He figured that his expression of gratitude for his good fortune would have maximum leverage in Universe as he was a devotee of R. Buckminster Fuller. Maximum use of the minimum material.
He saw the synergistic ripples flash across the world like the shock waves of Krakatoa.
He knew exactly what he was doing. He was leveraging God.
You gotta get that this was okay with God because God always liked Dad’s style. You could tell because Dad had the most amazing life. He knew God had a special place in his heart for Buddhist monk waitresses and Dad honored that.
I love my Dad. He really knows a lot.
LOVE LOVE LOVE your post!!!!!
I used Vista Print, had cups, notebooks, coasters & napkins printed up to give as gifts for family & friends, w/ a 'zig/zag, ripple' design & the words:
KINDNESS... hear the echoes; feel the ripples; create more
Thanks, dj. What a wonderful gift to give people.
Thanks, Brent. Your post brought a tear to my eye. Very moving.
Thanks for relating that Mardy. I’m glad to share a little humanity here, as you’ve given me so much through your writings and friendship. I wouldn’t say I’m in the waiting room at the station for the last train out of town, but I do have the bus schedule to the station in my pocket. So, I look at our times from the perspective of knowing that, for me, soon enough, all my troubles will be over. My only hope is that, for those that have known me, they gained some strength to fight the good fight because of my having been in the world.
I'm certainly been blessed by your being in my world.
I haven't been the recipient of financial generosity, but endless friendship.
just a few days ago in the news, a town in Minnesota, for several years, gives their graduating seniors financial help: https://tinyurl.com/57u76zf9
used to drive me nuts, my ex would give a waitress perhaps a better than expected tip (never something like what has been mentioned) & rather than just leave, he would 'hang around' waiting for his accolades....
kind-of related to this is when the 'stars' get oooohs & ahhhhs' when they give elaborate gifts to other 'stars' who can well-afford their own elaborate stuff. A long time ago, I used to watch, & enjoy the Ellen DeGeneres show (is it still on?) when she would surprise people w/ gifts of money... (I never watch any tv now, just movies)
When I was a kid, I absolutely LOVED the show "The Millionaire", when an anonymous donor would give someone the money, tax free, & the recipient couldn't tell anyone. How they handled their 'windfall' was the gist of the show.
Thanks for weighing in on this week's theme, dj. There's a term for your ex's behavior: "performative generosity." I loved that "Millionaire" show as well, and even had a few fantasies that he'd be paying a visit to our house!
Dr Mardy,
Now retired for seven years, I thrive on the memories of the charity I ran for forty-five. Sometimes country music turns the paradox of generosity on its head as in the song, " I gave her my ring and she gave me the finger".
Best,
Jamie
Thanks, Jamie. How nice to be able to thrive on such wonderful memories. And thanks for sharing that song lyric. Somebody should put together a whole book of them!
Today's subject could not have come at a more poignant time. Today Heather Cox Richardson opened her column with this: "Last night just before midnight, Republicans released their new version of the omnibus budget reconciliation bill. It is a sign of just how unpopular this bill is that they released the new version just before midnight on a Friday night, a time that is the graveyard of news stories." Unfortunately for all of us this "Big Beautiful Bill" is the anathma of generosity. The 1% want even more from us. Thank you Mardy for kicking all of us in the brain and redefining what real generosity looks like. We're living in troubled times and we need to sort what is good from what is bad, or as is said in the bible -"separate the wheat from the chafe."
Thanks, Michael. Yes, the mega-wealthy folks lobbying for this latest bill could certainly learn a thing or two from people like Eugene Lang . couldn't they? But they've learned nothing from Warren Buffett and Bill Gates, two of the wealthiest and most generous men in history, so I'm not holding out much hope. I was pleasantly surprised, however, to see that the "Big Bullshit Bill," as it should be called, has even been savaged by Elon Musk. I'm baffled as to why there hasn't been a movement to get people to take what I'm calling "The Medicare/Medicaid Pledge," in which they promise to never again cast a vote for anyone who supports tax cuts for the wealthy and benefit cuts for the poor and elderly.
Amen. I pledge . . . from my heart.
1. In my periodically reliable memory I purchased a copy of "Deconstructing Trump" when it was first published, but if I don't know where it is, so that purchase is likely on a very long list of "gonna do" items never acted upon. Or it's buried under my very many other books. If so, then through today's purchase I have the pleasure of securing a copy twice. At least I think I do.
2. My small group of friends were at an outside table at a lovely local restaurant in Tucson being attended by a young waitress. As is the habit of my friends, there was plenty of conversation with her and it was clear that she had money issues, so we left her a WAY over-the-top tip. After bringing the signed credit card slip inside to the register she returned, now having realized what we did. This time her manager accompanied her and their smiles of gratitude still shine in my sufficiently reliable memory. Not only was this tip a huge relief for her, but my hope is that she's paid it forward many times since then. I do like that fantasy.
3. Re: your first cartoon of a panhandler with a very different sign from the standard descriptions of homelessness, abandoned vet, etc. - It would be a most interesting sociological experiment to try out that sign for a while, then switch to the more common style and note if and how receipts change.
perhaps a generous contribution by a writer for anyone suffering from today's political climate, "The Strength You Gain by Not Taking Offense", when almost every conversation turns into a political statement.
https://tinyurl.com/2e29z2dm
I already commented, I don't watch any tv broadcasts. Try my best to not get into any political conversations. The few times I have, it's either an echo-chamber or heads-butting. Senseless blame-game, name-calling. The word 'hate' is used all too often. I believe I have said before my mom taught me that word is the worst word in the world to use, much worse than any curse word.
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! The Arthur Lang story is so powerful. Thank you for sharing it and the more recent photo! Wow! Also, I loved hearing about your Deconstructing Trump financier! So Powerful! Dr. Mardy, you impact many lives with weekly giving!! Thank you!
Dt. Mardy is verry genrerous in sharing quotstions , some witty, some wise, some examples of
preesons oprening their most inner ideas and thoughts to help others to think sbout their own
lives. Thoreau ijnspired Mardy. In returtn, Mardy offers ideas and insights that might change our own lives,
A great thought well expressed is a spark that might eventuallly illuminate the lives of msny
persons.,
Generosity requires trusting that you have enough (money, love) to be able to spend it without impoverishing yourself. I think this explains the gross lack of generosity at the top of our culture right now. Piling up money and power at the expense of others is a sure sign diminished self-image.
I love the story about Eugene M Lang's gift! So many millionaires could do so much for this country. And thank you to the generous donor who helped make Deconstructing Trump happen. That book is so important.