Dr. Mardy's Quotes of the Week ("Adversity")
September 10-16, 2023 | THIS WEEK'S THEME: “Adversity”
Opening Line of the Week
Carlson’s opening paragraph couldn’t be more straightforward—when things go bad, people often do things to make matters worse. When I read his words for the first time, I found myself nodding in agreement, for they comported with what I had long observed in my therapy practice. Some people lead such dysfunctional lives or have such poor coping skills that almost every problematic situation that presents itself is made worse by the questionable methods they employ to deal with it.
For centuries, adversity has been one of intellectual history’s most popular subjects—and the preponderance of observations about it have been variations on the theme of adversity’s many benefits. Carlson’s opening words were the first I’d seen on how people can make adversity worse by their own ineffectualness.
As soon as Carlson’s book was published, his many thought-provoking observations struck a major chord with readers. The book remained on The New York Times Best Seller list for 101 weeks, spawned a host of similarly-titled spinoffs (for moms, dads, teens, and others), and made the author one of the era’s most popular self-help writers. In 2006, at age 45, Carlson died unexpectedly of a heart attack.
For more than 150 famous first words from the “Psychology and Self-Help” genre, go to www.GreatOpeningLines.com. And if you’d like to receive a daily dose, follow me on Facebook.
This Week’s Puzzler
On September 16, 1672, this woman died at age 60 in Andover, Massachusetts (then a town in the Massachusetts Bay Colony). Born in 1612 into a wealthy Puritan family who lived in Northhampton, England, she was given a full classical education typically provided only to male children who were viewed as scions of the family. In 1628, at age 16, she married an up-and-coming young Englishman, and two years later emigrated to Massachusetts with him and her parents as part of John Winthrop’s great Puritan migration to a land that was often described as the New World.
After landing in Salem, Massachusetts, she and her husband moved several times before finally settling in Newe Towne (now Cambridge) Massachusetts. In 1636, her husband was instrumental in the founding of Harvard University, and in 1679 he became governor of the British colony.
During her marriage, she raised eight children while writing poetry on the side. In 1650, after the publication of her first book of poetry (“The Tenth Muse Lately Sprung Up in America”), she became America’s first published poet. The book, published in London, was highly acclaimed in both England and the American colonies.
To modern readers, this week’s Mystery woman is remembered primarily for her single prose work: Meditations: Divine and Moral (1664). She wrote the book for her son Simon, writing in the dedication:
“You once desired me to leave something for you in writing that you might look upon when you should see me no more.”
Even though her Meditations book was written more than 350 years ago, it was filled with observations that have a modern sensibility. The most famous was on this week’s theme:
Who is this person? (Answer below)
What Role Has Adversity Played in Your Life?
The quotation in this week's Puzzler is a reminder of one of history's most important lessons—despite the many problems associated with adversity, a major benefit is that it helps us more fully appreciate prosperity.
One other great benefit of adversity is that it helps us develop coping mechanisms and other life management skills. When things come too easily, we often become soft and weak. However, when we’ve been presented with challenges—and effectively handled them—we’re far more likely to develop the inner resources we’ll need when future problems present themselves. About this phenomenon, a popular American self-help author wrote:
The American Heritage Dictionary (AHD) defines adversity as “A state of hardship or affliction; misfortune.” To make sure readers fully grasped the meaning of the term, the AHD editors added in a Usage Note that the word implies some kind of continuing hardship. Given that adversity is more of an ongoing process than a single event, it is best to regard it as a constellation of impediments that can potentially threaten the attainment of cherished dreams and goals.
From the beginning of civilization, combating adversity has been a central feature of the human experience—and the drama played out in this age-old struggle has been so compelling that, for well over 2,000 years, observers of the human condition have offered thoughts on the subject. One that you are almost certainly familiar with is the biblical proverb “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.” Here are four more from prominent ancient thinkers.
Yet another benefit of adversity—and one that may not be immediately obvious—is that it often produces very special individuals. This phenomenon has been described by many people over the years, and here are two of my favorite quotations on the subject.
No discussion of the benefits of adversity would be complete without at least a mention of what many regard as the most famous quotation on the subject, Friedrich Nietzsche’s immortal maxim:
“What does not kill me makes me stronger.”
Yes, the saying has become a bit hackneyed, but it’s also become such a part of human consciousness that, after a bout with adversity, millions of people all around the world almost naturally find themselves repeating the saying to themselves. It is a wonderful observation, but when it is carried a little too far and applied a little too generously to all adverse situations, it can take on an insensitive and even callous quality. The next time you use it, you might want to remind yourself of another memorable observation on the subject.
This week, take a few moments to reflect on the role adversity has played—for good or for bad—in your life. And the next time a rough patch shows up in your life, try to view the problem as an opportunity to prove your strength, determination, courage, or resilience. As you’ve already seen, memorable observations on this week’s theme have appeared many times throughout history, and here are ten more:
People and nations are forged in the fires of adversity. — John Adams
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training does on the pugilist—it reduces him to his fighting weight. — Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
Adversity is a good school. — Charlotte Brontë
Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it. — Robertson Davies
It is not given to everyone to shine in adversity. — Jane Aiken Hodge
At every step the child should be allowed to meet the real experiences of life; the thorns should never be plucked from his roses. — Ellen Key
More than anything else, what keeps a person going in the midst of adversity is having a sense of purpose. — John C. Maxwell
Adversity has ever been considered as the state in which a man most easily becomes acquainted with himself. — Samuel Johnson
To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist. — Gail Sheehy
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean. — Mark Twain
For source information on these quotations, and many other quotations on the topic of ADVERSITY, go to Dr. Mardy's Dictionary of Metaphorical Quotations.
Cartoon of the Week
Answer to This Week’s Puzzler:
Anne Bradstreet
In the Foreword to The Works of Anne Bradstreet (1967), the acclaimed American poet Adrienne Rich wrote:
Dr. Mardy’s Observation of the Week
Thanks for joining me again this week. See you next Sunday morning, when the theme will be “Honor.”
Mardy Grothe
I have not noticed this before, but in this weeks' Puzzeler you may have just as easily said, "Who is this person? (Answer" above), as you gave her credit in sighting the quote from meditations. Otherwise, I couldn't have guessed to save me.
Another great installment Dr. Mardy. And I love the new and improved format. Perhaps the adversity of the unplanned end of the previous service provider was a blessing to create this new space.
I feel that adversity is a private matter most of the time. I can see how it has served me along my journey. I'm curious about your thoughts on people publicly sharing adversity for what appears to be the purpose of self-promotion.