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Michael's avatar

Well Mardy, you have done it again. Another wonderful collection of pertinent quotes and comments for me to absorb. Once, in one of my speech classes, a man gave a speech advising people to never marry, because he argued, “You get to spend all your time with the person you love most.” When I was studying to be a priest many years ago, it occurred to me that our eyes are pointed directly outward. Which means that perhaps nature intended us to never see our own face. Mirrors give us only reflections. We need each other—to see us and tell us who we are. One of my email writing tips I’ve shared around the world, that avoids self-absorption, is to put the word “you” or “your” in the first sentence of everything you write. Great to know you are recovering well from your operation. Thanks again.

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Harvey Stanbrough's avatar

Excellent, Mardy! I'll be posting a link to this in TNDJ, but I'm gonna hold off one day on this one.As a side note, all of the above is why I advise others to "get out of your 1% and think about the 99% around you."

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dj l's avatar

I was waiting for a mention of Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain' song

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Good point, my friend. I considered it, but the post was already getting a little long. When I do a post on "Vanity" I'll be sure to mention it. A true classic!

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this most important subject, Michael. I loved your line: "We need each other—to see us and tell us who we are." Thanks also for the "recovery" though. I'm feeling much better than I thought I would.

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Lawrence A Hagemann's avatar

Welcome back! My friend in New Zealand Andrew London wrote and sings a song called;

"Let's talk about me." -- very much in line with your narrative today.

See Youtube Andrew London "Let's talk about me".

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Thanks, my friend, I will definitely check it out!

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

And thanks for the "welcome back" as well!

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Thanks, Harvey. Love your side note!

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Barbara E's avatar

So glad to read that you are doing better!! This is a timely topic. I am reading "The Good Life" by Waldinger and Schultz. They are the current Directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development.

It is fascinating and making me take a close look at myself and my relationships. It has been a wonderful experience so far. Recommend it highly!

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Jack Altschuler's avatar

"Adult Development" - is that an intentional and common thing?

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Thanks so much, Barbara. Timely and timeless, I think. Thanks also for the book recommendation. I will definitely check it out.

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Jack Altschuler's avatar

A recently divorced friend was on a date with a banker, who talked non-stop about himself, his experiences, his successes and more. At first his stories were entertaining, but they quickly became smothering, so at last she spoke up. "I'd really like you to ask me about me."

Clearly, she's pretty direct and knows how to stand up for herself, which is a constant survival demand in the presence of the self-absorbed.

I wish I could have been there to see the crunch on that banker's self-absorption.

"Can't talk to you without talking to me, we're guilty of the same old thing." - lyric from "Althea", Grateful Dead

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

A great story, Jack. Yes, it would have been nice to be a fly on the wall. Thanks also for that great lyric, which was new to me.

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Roger Baron's avatar

Another great weekly installment. I am so glad that you are continuing all your great work, after your heart valve replacement!

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Thanks, Roger, I'm doing better than I would have ever expected.

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Jerome Megna's avatar

I will buy & read Daniel Goleman's book, thanks to you! And special thanks to you for all your work in collecting your wonderful quotes!

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

You won't regret the decision, Jerome. And thanks for your kind words about my efforts!

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arlene's avatar

A line from one of my favorite films, Beaches, had Bette Midler saying this - "Enough about me, let's talk about you. What do you think of me?” I almost choked with laughter! Mardy, you've given me alot to reflect on this week. I have Goleman's book on my shelf right here. I bought it years ago. I think it's time to go back and review it. The comments this week were really good. Lots to think about. Thanks all...

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arlene's avatar

and PS....it must have taken a lot of self-control Mardy to resist the temptation to actually NAME the most 'self-absorbed' person in the news each and every day. BRAVO Mardy!!

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Thanks. It was actually easier than you might think!

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

I had forgotten about that line. W true classic. Glad you enjoyed the post. Hope you enjoy the book.

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Blayney Colmore's avatar

You never let us down, Mardy. How you come up with another "absorbing" topic week after week is a puzzle to me. Maybe one answer is that you're not so absorbed in yourself that you can't become aware of what others are absorbed in. Hate to admit that, as I near 85, I still sometimes catch myself glancing at the mirror as I pass by, maybe wondering if things might have improved since my last glance. Not sure whether than should be called self-absorbed, or simple delusion. Thanks for provoking us again.

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Thanks, Blayney, what a nice thing for you to say. At our age, half the time we look in the mirror, we're looking at someone who bears only a faint resemblance to our former self. At least, that's the case with me. Be well.

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Julayne Hughes's avatar

I find it funny that what I call an absorption in the project at hand, some friends call an obsession.

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Well said, my dear Julayne!

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Louis Phillips's avatar

FOR SALE: THE MARDY GROTHE INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH SPONGE FOR SELF ABSORPTION.

Don't leave any extra liquid for anybody else. Use it at your own risk. One per customer because only one is needed.

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Dr. Mardy Grothe's avatar

Very well expressed, my friend!

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