Mardy, your comments on expectation are enlightening, especially how they can lead to disappointment. A close relatives of expectation is anticipation. Rather than expect something and do nothing, if we plan and take action we are better able to anticipate results. Anticipation can also be an act of love when we foresee what someone will need or desire and act on their behalf. Thanks for your always mind-opening comments and quotations. I always anticipate the best from you and your column.
haha, a side note similar to my comment last week, the song written & performed by Carly Simon 'Anticipation', popped into my mind when reading your post
Thanks for weighing in on this week's theme, Michael, and extending it to the related word, "Anticipation." Also loved how you blended the word into your kind words about my efforts.
as an animal lover, today's writing mentioned humans are the only animals that can envision a future - yes, then you added, combined w/ imagination, which might be more difficult to study w/ other animals.
however, extensive scientific research has proved that corvids, the group of birds that include crows, ravens, and jays, can think ahead and plan for the future. They have thinking capabilities that rival those of 7–10 year old humans. Instinct plays a role in many animal "future" planning, however following these studies sheds more fascinating 'fun', imo, findings on those little brains.
& hope you don't mind a link to cuttlefish pass the marshmellow test given to kids
In the future, perhaps a post on self-expectations AKA believing in one's self and one's own abilities vs. believing and bending to others' expectations? Seems like a rich topic to me.
Hope seems to spring eternal within me, despite the many failures of my expectations throughout my life. Still, at 93, I have hope of a future of being useful in some way, if, perchance, my Jack leaves this earth before I do. Isn't this that definition of insanity?
I hope your recuperation is coming along at full steam ahead! We all need you, Mardy.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Pat. It's definitely NOT the definition of insanity, though. Something more positive and hopeful. Thanks also your your heartwarming words at the end. I feel as if I've been given a new lease on life, so am hoping for many more years of posting my missives!
Thank you, Manisha. I've heard more than one of my golf friends say "It's a game of expectations." Do you think that it's more true of golf than other sports?
Yes, because golf is all on you and the infinite variables. Most other sports have a fixed number of variables or a certain level of subjectivity. I have never played a sport like golf.
Reminds me of my high school English teacher quoting Robert Browning:"A man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for." She didn't go into the failure to reach "heaven," i.e. an unrealistic goal.
Thanks for making the connection to high aspirations, Lon. It would have been nice if she had pursued that thought, though. The students would have benefited, and maybe learned a life lesson along the way.
When my college choir was preparing for a trip to Europe, the director told us, "Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed." I tried to live like that during the tour and, as a result, came away with many fabulous memories.
I have a weird kind of relationship with expectations, that I would love to think is Zen-like. On a conscious level, I don't have any. But when I experience disappointment, I realize I have been hiding my expectations from myself, precisely in hopes of avoiding disappointment. Must be that I don't think I can live up to what I expect (or what others expect?). The place I experience it most openly is on the tennis court. I have long thought I am, at least potentially, a better tennis player than I actually turn out to be...every time I play. Wouldn't you think at 85, that might soften?
Thanks for your candid self-assessment, Blayney. Most interesting. I have a feeling that, while playing tennis, you might be experiencing "flow," a condition that transcends expectations. And, I might add, to be playing tennis well at 85 is a remarkable accomplishment. Well done. Keep it up. And know that, at some point it will definitely soften!
Mardy, your comments on expectation are enlightening, especially how they can lead to disappointment. A close relatives of expectation is anticipation. Rather than expect something and do nothing, if we plan and take action we are better able to anticipate results. Anticipation can also be an act of love when we foresee what someone will need or desire and act on their behalf. Thanks for your always mind-opening comments and quotations. I always anticipate the best from you and your column.
haha, a side note similar to my comment last week, the song written & performed by Carly Simon 'Anticipation', popped into my mind when reading your post
Mine, too!
Thanks for weighing in on this week's theme, Michael, and extending it to the related word, "Anticipation." Also loved how you blended the word into your kind words about my efforts.
Thanks Mardy. I hope all’s going well. Flannery O’Connor was such a brilliant person. All the best, John.
Thanks, John. All is well; starting cardio rehab this week. Yes, O'Connor was not only a great writer, but a most interesting person.
as an animal lover, today's writing mentioned humans are the only animals that can envision a future - yes, then you added, combined w/ imagination, which might be more difficult to study w/ other animals.
however, extensive scientific research has proved that corvids, the group of birds that include crows, ravens, and jays, can think ahead and plan for the future. They have thinking capabilities that rival those of 7–10 year old humans. Instinct plays a role in many animal "future" planning, however following these studies sheds more fascinating 'fun', imo, findings on those little brains.
& hope you don't mind a link to cuttlefish pass the marshmellow test given to kids
https://www.sciencealert.com/cuttlefish-can-pass-a-cognitive-test-designed-for-children
Thanks, dj. Most interesting.
Great post, Mardy.
In the future, perhaps a post on self-expectations AKA believing in one's self and one's own abilities vs. believing and bending to others' expectations? Seems like a rich topic to me.
Thanks, Harvey. Always nice to hear from you. I will, as they say, take your suggestion under advisement!
Hope seems to spring eternal within me, despite the many failures of my expectations throughout my life. Still, at 93, I have hope of a future of being useful in some way, if, perchance, my Jack leaves this earth before I do. Isn't this that definition of insanity?
I hope your recuperation is coming along at full steam ahead! We all need you, Mardy.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Pat. It's definitely NOT the definition of insanity, though. Something more positive and hopeful. Thanks also your your heartwarming words at the end. I feel as if I've been given a new lease on life, so am hoping for many more years of posting my missives!
Gee, Mardy, I wasn't expecting such a good collection of quotations on expectatis.
Pleasantly surprised. You advise us to lower our expectations. My motto is:
LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.
Thanks, Louis. My plan is to add even more in the future. I probably won't be adding yours though!
I have learned enjoying golf is directly related to how you manage your expectations. Thank you for the post Mardy!
Thank you, Manisha. I've heard more than one of my golf friends say "It's a game of expectations." Do you think that it's more true of golf than other sports?
Yes, because golf is all on you and the infinite variables. Most other sports have a fixed number of variables or a certain level of subjectivity. I have never played a sport like golf.
Thanks, Manisha, that certainly does distinguish it. I appreciate the explanation.
Reminds me of my high school English teacher quoting Robert Browning:"A man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for." She didn't go into the failure to reach "heaven," i.e. an unrealistic goal.
Thanks for making the connection to high aspirations, Lon. It would have been nice if she had pursued that thought, though. The students would have benefited, and maybe learned a life lesson along the way.
Another good one! Thank you. My goal is to live in the moment as much as possible. So much joy in that!
And glad to hear you are feeling so much better!!!!
Thanks, Barbara, that is the best place to live! And, regarding your second point, ME, TOO!
When my college choir was preparing for a trip to Europe, the director told us, "Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed." I tried to live like that during the tour and, as a result, came away with many fabulous memories.
Thanks, Julayne, your anecdote perfectly illustrated the point!
I have a weird kind of relationship with expectations, that I would love to think is Zen-like. On a conscious level, I don't have any. But when I experience disappointment, I realize I have been hiding my expectations from myself, precisely in hopes of avoiding disappointment. Must be that I don't think I can live up to what I expect (or what others expect?). The place I experience it most openly is on the tennis court. I have long thought I am, at least potentially, a better tennis player than I actually turn out to be...every time I play. Wouldn't you think at 85, that might soften?
Provocative, as always, Mardy.
Thanks for your candid self-assessment, Blayney. Most interesting. I have a feeling that, while playing tennis, you might be experiencing "flow," a condition that transcends expectations. And, I might add, to be playing tennis well at 85 is a remarkable accomplishment. Well done. Keep it up. And know that, at some point it will definitely soften!